Chronically Misunderstood

  It wouldn't be fair of me to start this off without admitting that until I found myself faced with a chronic and invisible illness did I ever stop think about the words, "But you don't look sick...". You see its been about 2 years now that I've been battling an unknown, painful illness. I've had my gallbladder removed, gone to countless doctors, and spent many hours in a hospital bed just waiting for answers. I'm 24 years old, I never once thought about handling health issues as a newly married woman. Why would I? I'm too young to feel this way. But honestly I can handle this part. I have an amazing support system that I can always depend on and I stand on my faith knowing God is in control!



    No, the hardest part isn't dealing with pain on a daily basis or even the gut- wrenching, unending, bathroom visits that leave me physically drained. The hardest part is spending 75% of your time trying to pretend your illness doesn't exist and the other 25% trying to convince everyone else it does. The worst thing you can do to a person with an invisible illness is make them feel like they have to prove how sick they are. In reality our illnesses are not invisible to those that have their eyes open to see. Just ask my husband if he can see my illness? Ask my mom if she can see the 20 pounds I've lost? This isn't just happening to me but to those closest to me as well.

Most people are blissfully unaware of how many there are in similar situations.  Did you know there are over 80 autoimmune diseases? Meaning 80 different ways the host's attacks itself and the only way "modern medicine" currently knows how to treat this is by suppressing your immune system leaving you vulnerable to much more common sicknesses. & That's not even counting the other chronic, invisible illness that haven't been deemed as an autoimmune condition. Debilitating illnesses that halt your life but on the outside no one can see the storm raging inside you. 


    If there is only one thing I've learned through these trials, its not to judge, not to be mean because you never know the strength its taking someone to stand there! Literally. Since this battle has begun God has changed the shape of my heart and made me so much more compassionate for others. 

    Life is hard, to live in a body that feels like it's constanly battling itself is exhuasting. But oddly enough, isn't it the stories of overcoming, the stories we can't image living through, those are the stories we tell egerly and proudly. Usually, not of our own strength but with admiration for the warrior that has come out on the other side. 

    In the two years this has plagued me, I have seen more strength from those that wouldn't even consider themselves warriors than I ever could imagine. When your illness is lying to you, making you doubt yourself, doubt your story, that's when I urge you to share it! God can make such beauty from the ashes!