An Open Letter

   

This is probably one of the hardest lessons I am learning and I've honestly been ashamed at the mere thought of sharing it on this platform. I think I'm still processing it myself so thinking about putting these feelings, these unanswered questions into words that are supposed to form sentences that make logical sense, seems utterly impossible. When in reality, if you know me and my tribe or follow us on our other social media, you've probably already noticed a change in the content of the posts. Maybe even an absence of something that once flooded our feed...

    Let me start by saying, this is not a black and white issue for me. Which is unusual because once I form an opinion about something you'll be hard- pressed to change it! True Gemini here! How could I be questioning something I believed in so strongly? Something I brought my loved ones into with the intentions of it being a life changing opportunity. How could I step away from something I was once passionate about? I am definitely ever changing, staying true to my Gemini twin personalities, one day I can wake up stoked about something new and by the next day it's not so exciting anymore. But this was different, I put time into this, stuck with it longer than I have most other things, and yet here I am facing my twin, changing again.

    I guess I have to say what I've been avoiding in the last two paragraphs, what I've been hinting at but dreading seeing appear on the screen. The thing I was so on fire for is now something I feel I'm being lead to walk away from. It makes me sick to think about "my team" of beautiful ladies that I brought into this when I was full of it. It breaks my heart to think about those I offended or pushed away after getting sucked into the mentality of "everyone is a potential client". 

How can my spirit grow and embrace facts like, we are not here to receive but to give, while teaching to see others as dollar signs?

    For the past 2, almost 3 years I have dedicated so many hours, invested money I thought we would see ten- fold over again, and absorbed more network marketing professional tips than I ever thought I had room for. I am, was, still am, am a little confused, an It Works independent distributor. & not like one of those girls that joins a company, has one party, and then never does it again. No, not me. I was a walking billboard, could rattle off facts about the growth of "our" company faster than I could my own husband's phone number. I never left the house camper without black, green, and bling on along with blitz cards to shove into strangers' hands, and a power pack because God- forbid my phone/ office die.

    Even as I type this and think back to this routine, it doesn't sound like me now. For several months I had this stirring in my spirit that this wasn't for me and my tribe anymore. I started feeling like I had hit my peak with the company and I certainly don't mean the peak of their pay scale, like I had learn all God was going to teach me through this. I couldn't, I can't shake this feeling that my time is up. I've simply changed too much to be able to wholeheartedly endorsed this business model any longer.

    The number one reason I joined and I think most others do, was freedom of time! My true passion, the one that never changes, is being with my tribe! The thought of being a stay at home wife is something that I will never stop perusing and is something I thought I would accomplish through It Works! I put years in with this company, signed tons of customers, started my own nation- wide team, and at one time was proud of all of that.

    I wasn't thinking about the things I was allowing "my leaders" to teach me. I wasn't thinking about the fact that, yes I am physically home more but suddenly completely consumed by my phone. If I wasn't messaging "friends" to tell them about this life- changing opportunity then I was video chatting with my team teaching them, how to message their "closest" 100 friends. Mind you all while team leaders are reminding you, the more "friends" you make, the more people you "chat" with, the bigger your business will be. After this being drilled into your head, I can tell you, you stop seeing people as people and only see them as a way to get yourself to the next level.

Never hit that goal.

    Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't realize what I was doing then. I didn't realize I was selling a dream of more free time, of finical freedom, of family, and friends but then teaching ways that make you more distant from these goals. I don't want to bash It Works because I am thankful for what I learned and the true friendships I made. But I can no longer keep quite about the downside to network marketing! No matter what company, no matter the product you so passionately believe in, the business model is the same.

    Eventually, you WILL run out of prospects, you might even realize how much time you spend preoccupied with looking for those opportunities that are "always around the corner". For me, the money doesn't even matter anymore. To hear my husband say, "I'm so happy you're on your phone less" matters so much more! To not feel guilty about exploring other business ventures because I was taking time away from making residual income, that's freeing! To step out of the rat race of consumerism, to truly support small businesses that's what I want my career to be about. I want to make a difference, not drive a fancy car paid for by a greed- driven company.

Spoonful Creation was born....

    I do not want my tribe and I to be of this world, to be stuck in this better- is- more way of life. So even if our little handmade businesses never buy us new iPhones or send us on an all expense paid trip, I know in my heart that those businesses are apart of us and I can stand proud in putting my all into it without demanding to receive. Life becomes a beautiful blessing when you stop thinking about what you can get and start thinking about what you can give!